Wednesday, December 28, 2005

HEART, Elia Casillas


Elia Casillas

¡How there’s blood on your hands! You’re bringing my heart back though, it wasn’t necessary, and your beard has grown, look at your shoes, they seem hurt, your back is holding all the village’s clouds. I can’t believe that you left your first steps to come here and give away something of yours. Don’t worry I’ll get use to be without it, although it was exiting to look at it jumping around when you’d arrive, so much that It’d scared me, It seemed like a bell out of control. The days never were… I was a Queen and you’d worry to see me happy, I gave you my before, my now, my after and… ¿ what happened? ¡Ah! You thought you were fixed on my course when I was squandering and said, “My heart is yours” I didn’t calculate the results between leaving it with out rhythm to give it to you. Once you had it in your hands, you changed drastically, lifting up your eyebrow was you looked at me out of the corner of your eye, then a cruel smile appear in your face, and there’s when I realized that I was loosing you, but that didn’t touch me, your attitude cut the rope around my neck, just like a river that forgets his essence when comes together with the sea, I rested, and you lost my move’s course. Others came; I was insensible to the mixture though, ¡nobody’s like you! The diverse language on my back sliding on my shoulders, rising feelings, you took away my story’s blues, your laugh on my hair, and sliding whispers on my low neck. Then it wasn’t me… In you dove, falcon you stoned my sense, left alone on your claws we stoned every single night and I didn’t feel guilty, the time all around us, and I didn’t have courage to set me free, I knew that nothing was going to be the same thing when we’d come back home and you’d still walking on me, that’s why I decided to leave it to you, It was a really mess, on my return it used to fall apart and just for a while when it hunched you got better. Impossible to control it, I was obedient to this love without caring about anything else, just to be on your nest, getting away from everything on your wings, dilating afternoons to be escorted by the moon. One day I didn’t see you, I ignored how to invent you between all that unlovely spaces, getting lost on the walls I fell apart in my life. And then, I knew that you still had the choice, the key and my heart. I don’t need my heart, with you it doesn’t surprise me, I never put pressure on you, nobody like you to distinguish my pains… ¿Ah, is that why you came? Don’t mortify yourself, only in this place I could’ve found the rest that you took away from me, in life!
Take your tears away with you.
They dirt my epitaph

Navojoa Son. 2 de Julio del 2001

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